To foster is to promote growth or development, suggesting it is temporary. After six months with my foster daughters, Shae and Cheyenne were reunited with their father.
I'd been preparing for the girls' departure for about six weeks. Halfway through, both Shae and Cheyenne started acting antsy and picking fights with my kids. I told them about the short amount of time we had left together. I never expected them to cry. I never expected them to be sad about leaving my home. After all the battles, I thought they'd be happy to leave. When they began bawling, it triggered a surprise response from me: I was sad to see them go. We stood and hugged for a little bit; I don't think they wanted to let go. Their hearts were exposed as the scared little girls they were. Sure, they would be glad to go "home" but "home" didn't have any rules or discipline or structure. They knew their world would turn upside down again. They had gotten a taste of what being a kid was all about and they didn't want to give that up.
On their final night, I packed up the truck with all Shae and Cheyenne's things: four totes of clothes, shoes, and bags; mementos of my home and the two previous homes they'd been in. They had two large laundry bags full of stuffed animals and blankets and then their own backpacks. I bought them new school supplies. I wrote them each a lovely letter with words of encouragement and love. I gave them each three SASE so they could write me.
Dinner was held at 5:30: salsbury steak, mashed potatoes and gravy and corn, which was Shae's favorite meal. I poured sparkling red grape juice for us all and toasted to the girls. Cheyenne cried and I didn't know if she'd make it through the meal. I just patted her hand told her it would be alright. Inside, I was crying too.
When my sister came at 6:30, Cheyenne was at it again. Shae never batted an eye.
We got to their new apartment at 7:20. Cheyenne had to be helped out of the truck. She cried so hard for the loss she was suffering. I just hugged her and kissed her and did my best to reassure her. A little bit of small talk and instructions for her dad and we left, leaving behind two of the best little girls on the planet.
My heart ached. The house would be so quiet without them. Cheyenne wouldn't be there to help me in the kitchen. Shae wouldn't be there this spring to ride bikes in the street.
I miss my girls. I hope I was able to help them and make an imprint on their hearts. Someday, just maybe I'll see them again and they will remember how much they were loved.
